Sydney’s Frankies Pizza Announces Free Lockout ‘Emancipation Party’ Featuring Local Metal Faves

January 7, 2020

Sydney is about to say goodbye and get f*cked to its despised lockout laws, which have been killing off the city’s beloved venues one at a time since they were blunderingly slapped into place by now ex-Premier Barry O’Farrell back in 2014.

The 1.30am lockout will at long last be getting sh*t-canned next Tuesday, 14th January, and to celebrate, thankful survivor of the cooked legislation’s prolonged cultural genocide Frankie’s Pizza By The Slice is hosting an ‘Emancipation Party’, packed to the light fixtures with local metal faves.

Groove metal gang Bare Bones are headlining proceedings, “bringing the balls-out riffs, grooves and stage moves to shake the foundations”. They’ll be joined by the “all powerful behemoth of turbo n’ technical Party Metal” Arteries, while resident rock veteran Dave Eastgate and his band Boner Contention will be serving up some Hard Rock Karaoke and giving away a lip-licking $200 bartab to “the worst damn singer of the night”.

“WE ARE BACK,” reads a statement from the pizza joint’s official Facebook event. “The Lockouts are ABOLISHED this Tuesday January 14. From that date onward, Frankie’s Pizza is Re-ERECTING our position as LATE LATE LATE Party destination every day of the week!

“Sydney’s late night reputation has been reduced to a JOKE, this is your chance to reclaim the crown, this is our time to rise up and ROCK!”

As always, entry is FREE so you’ve got no damn excuses.

It comes after an inquiry this year demonstrated Sydney’s lockout laws had not only been completely ineffective at curbing violence, but had also completely cooked the city’s nightlife — leading to the number of under-35’s visiting Sydney to drop by a whopping half a million annually and the number of live music venues across the city to be slashed by an insane 50%, losing us an estimated $16 billion worth of economic stimulus.

So long lockout laws, please let the door hit you in the arse on the way out.